It’s like nails on a chalkboard, hearing someone say “She’s so strong, I never see her cry.”  I have heard this numerous times and, my one college logic course, suggests that crying = weakness and not crying = strength.  However, I know personally that there is nothing farther from the truth.

The physical and emotional pain from breast cancer, as a patient or a caregiver, can be overwhelming and the only release may be a “good” cry or several “good” cries.  And then, there is the reality of a pity party; the lamentation of “why me” that can stir the strongest of emotions that bring tears.  It may be a single tear down the side of your face or a seemingly everlasting waterfall that engulfs you and takes a long time to quell.

The moments of strength are the moments before, during and after the tears where you resolve to fight no matter what, to move forward through the pain and in the face of devastation and destruction while holding on to a sliver of faith.  The moments of strength are the moments where, balled up in the fetal position, you muster up enough determination for that moment and each moment turns into another and the walk forward continues.  The tears can be cathartic and serve as a catalyst for putting some bad moments in the distance and looking ahead to better moments.  Know your strength, even through your tears.

Melanie A. Nix – Triple negative breast cancer survivor.  Always striving to color outside of the lines when defining my new normal.